The Cal Leandro's series (Death wish)

Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover….or its review:

Once upon a time, I spent six months in Alaska. My job on the railroad made me miserable. I was beaten down by bullying. I was lying daily for the sake of my own survival. I walked around in a disguise built out of lies, telling people my phone calls home weren’t to my mother, but to friends, that my being all natural and homeschooled weren’t damaging choices, but destiny deciding ones. I faced each day as if they were battles to be won and each night as a brief reprieve.

I did, however, have a few saving graces.

(1)   My mother’s care packages

(2)   My phone calls home

(3)   Reruns of Supernatural on the hostel television

(4)   The C and M used bookshop

I discovered the bookstore upon pure accident. I was riding by on my blue bike, my main mode of transportation and noticed it. It was located between my hostel and downtown. It was a tiny, hole in the wall place. There was nowhere to lock up my bike and nothing else nearby…..and yet I became a regular. I stopped in several times a week. It was almost impossible for me to ride past without stopping in. I only ever met two of the employee’s, an older woman with jokes about birds and young boy, (not a man) who rarely spoke and did restocking out of sight. I don’t remember either of their names and by now, they probably wouldn’t know mine. They’d recognize me on sight though. I’d come in, go to the same aisle and plop down on the floor.

I’d look for the same author, same series of books every time. Rob Thurman, the writer of a random book on a random shelf in a random shop…..her book Death-wish was one of my saving graces. I’d found it on my first visit to C and M. It looked good, had two guys on the front, but probably would’ve ended up back on the shelf if not for the review. I never read reviews, but thank goodness I read this one:

"Fans of Supernatural's Winchester brothers will instantly love Niko and Cal!"

It was the fourth in a series and they didn’t have any of the others. It was an impulse buy, very unlike me.

I’ve been home two years now (how did the time fly like that?) and just finished reading Death-wish a second time, but in order. The twists hit me just as hard as they did the first time around, although I noticed the signs earlier. (There are advantages to my faulty novel memory….twists can hit me again and again!)

I wanted to share my favorite moments: (Do not read if you’re going to read the Cal Leandro’s series)

MOMENT ONE: Monster hunting brothers Cal and Niko are just driving along…when the bad guys stab through the ceiling of the car. In a matter of paragraphs, we (the reader) go from reading a snippy snappy conversation….to seeing the car rolled, the characters thrown clear and the bad guy attempting to end their lives. This moment is a perfect example of why I love Robin Thurman. She can throw action at you without the slightest bit of notice….and she doesn’t save it for the stories climax. She sprinkles them throughout and you won’t know they’re coming, until they’re slapping you in the face!

The car crash and the following hospital visit for Niko brought a new issue to mind. The “Token Human.” In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Xander was the token human. In Supernatural, (for awhile, at least) it was Dean. In Dark Angel, it was Logan. In the Cal Leandro’s series, it’s Niko. (Cal is half demon) In the hospital, with Niko’s ribs bound and his forehead covered in stitches, Cal averts his eyes and says, “We can’t leave yet Niko. Right now, you look….you look too human.” Be it in Buffy, Supernatural, Dark Angel or Cal Leandro’s, the Token Human is almost always a character that the viewers forget is human….forget until they’re landed in the hospital with their paranormal comrades looking on.

MOMENT TWO:

Having just narrowly escaped death once again, the brothers were laying on a field of grass, having just “transported” themselves away from a battle they’d have lost otherwise. Niko, the elder brother that has forever been known to never give up, finally reaches over and takes Cal’s beloved gun, “If it comes down to those demons taking you….I’ll shoot you first, okay? You’ll go first.” The inference that Niko would be right behind him is silent, but very much there.

MOMENT THREE:

I try not to draw too many similarities between the Cal Leandro’s brothers and the Winchester brothers, but this is to make an interesting point. After the climax is over and the big baddie is dead, younger brother Cal tells older brother Niko that he doesn’t need protecting anymore. Cal says that Niko has done enough. If something happens someday and Cal dies, Niko has to move on, let it go, let HIM go. After all those words, more than Cal ever uses, Niko just looks at him…..and Cal sighs, bows his head. “We’re screwed, aren’t we?” He says and you know what he’s saying, that no matter what both of them say about moving on and letting go, neither one ever will, but they still have to say it.

In Supernatural the television series, brothers Sam and Dean go through the same thing. Just before Dean goes to hell because of his deal, he tells Sam to go live his life….but Sam nearly gets himself killed doing the opposite. Just before Sam jumps into the pit, he tells Dean to go live with Lisa and Ben….and he does, but it nearly destroys him. They both keep telling each other to MOVE ON, but neither does it and in all honesty? I don’t think either of them believe it or want it when they say it. THEN, then Dean goes to purgatory and Sam doesn't search for him, doesn't fight to get him back. In his last conversation with him, Sam tells their dead father figure Bobby that no, he didn’t really search for Dean, as Dean told him not to. “Sam!” Bobby exclaims. “You two always say that to each other. You never mean it! It’s a fake deal!”

Ah, the things we say but we don’t mean, but we still need to say them just to prove our loved ones will hear it and know what we REALLY mean. 

Throughout the book, I had small flashes of reading Death-wish in Alaska. I saw myself reading on my stomach on my hostel bunk bed. I saw myself cross legged at the Regency hotel, in one of the many, many beds I stayed in. I saw myself on the train when it was dead, distracting myself from Jerry and Courtney by reading instead of masking my napping by turning towards the window. There were just flashes though….until I read the part where a little demon named Xolo looked right at Niko.

BAM!

I remembered not only everything that would happen after that, (the brainwashing, the fake death, the suicidal loss) but I remembered exactly where I’d been sitting the last time I’d read it.

On the second story of the Anchorage Backpackers Inn, at the very end of the long hallway, I sat on the couch next to the wooden desk. I don’t remember if I was eating yet another of my salads, (always sitting on the coffee table) but I remember that when I realized what Xolo had done to Niko, I dropped the book. I paused, my eyes darted up from the page, I lay the book on the armrest to my right…and I just went, “whoa.” Reading that scene again, I felt that same whoa and I felt myself zapped right back to that hostel.

It was amazing.

One last thing and I know I keep getting off topic…..getting obsessed with the Cal Leandro’s books was the same as my getting obsessed with Supernatural. I did it because to get absorbed by another set of characters passions, loneliness and lives was to distract from my own. Whenever I’ve foolishly fantasized about what I’d say to Jensen, Jared, Misha, Jim, any of them, it’s this I’d like to say: Your show and your acting is a HUGE part of what got me through that summer. Thank you.

I want to give that same thanks, now, to Robin Thurman.